If I had to change my mind about something as big and important as my faith, what else do I have wrong? How many of my other beliefs need to change? It’s daunting.

There’s a widespread belief that Mark Twain once wrote or said, "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." I have believed, for a long time, that it was indeed Twain who spoke those words. After all, we’re both Missourians and we have to stick together. A quick web search, however, assures me that Twain has nothing whatsoever to do with originating this quote and my search engine summary insists that the aphorism probably appeared due to a twitter user named @Joreth back around 2011. In that mysterious way the internet has of attributing any and all quotes to Twain (or Lincoln or Augustine), this one has been captured into the center of gravity of the bard of the Mississippi.

In other words, I’ve been fooled. With much prodding, I’m willing to admit that it wasn’t Twain who was responsible for the quote, but I feel a strong reluctance to do so. I’d much rather continue believing what I’ve always believed. Twain isn’t entirely uninvolved, though, because in his autobiography he does write something quite similar: “How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again.”

However we attribute the quote, I bring it up because of how true it is. In the same way I’m reluctant to un-attribute it to Twain, I’ve been reluctant all my life to change my stated opinion about, well, really anything. Once I’ve sounded off on a topic, I will defend my opinion against all facts and corrections. I have a strong choleric streak in my temperament, so it isn’t unknown that I will confidently and proudly announce a controversial opinion and then take great joy in sticking to it.

I suppose we all, to some degree or another, are quite reluctant to change our minds on topics either large or small. Scientific studies seem to back up this tendency towards reluctance. One researcher, for instance, says, “when my colleagues and I reviewed the research on changes of mind about a range of different kinds of decisions, we found many studies showing people change their minds less often than you might think. This was surprising, given how often we feel uncertain about our choices.”

Why is it so hard to change our mind? Why is it that, once we form a belief, we double-down on it even when we’re proven to be wrong? To paraphrase Twain (or @Joreth?), we’re more likely to go on believing a lie, even when we know it’s a lie, than admit that we have been wrong.

The reason it’s so hard for us to change our minds is because what’s at stake isn’t the mere fact or belief itself; what’s at stake is how other people view us. For instance, if I change my mind frequently, will people think I’m not very smart? That I don’t have courage in my conviction? That I’m not very confident and am easily persuaded? The danger in updating our opinions is that our leadership qualities might be questioned or the accusation of “flip-flopping” might be leveled. In the end, human beings are tribal, so there’s great comfort and incentive in sticking strongly to the beliefs of our “team.”

There’s an emotional attachment to our beliefs. My thought may be wrong, but it’s mine. In that sense, if I’m being pressured to re-think it, it feels like a personal attack. Or maybe it feels like I’m betraying my team if the change causes me to dissent from the accepted range of opinions.

This temptation is constantly present. When I was a teenager, like so many other teenagers I was fond of making grandiose, uncompromising statements that I thought made me seem like a principled, educated idealist. As an adult, I’ve had to update most of those naive beliefs. As a parent, my earlier notions of how to run the household have changed. The kind of house I wanted to live in has changed. The way I dress has changed. My political beliefs have shifted. Even my hobbies and dreams for the future have been updated.

My spiritual life has drastically changed, too. I had been anti-Catholic for so many years of my life, firmly convinced that I was right, that it took decades to change my mind about Catholicism. To change my mind and convert meant admitting I’d been wrong for all those decades, that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was, and my entire life had to change. It was a humbling experience.

I thank God for the grace to make that change but I’ve always wondered, if I had to change my mind about something that big and important, what else do I have wrong? How many of my other beliefs need to change? It’s daunting.

This gives me additional insight into why we’re so reluctant to change our minds – doing so is unsettling. I’m learning to be comfortable with flexibility but to balance it with stability. I would never recommend doubting all our beliefs all the time. That kind of skepticism isn’t healthy. After all, our beliefs have formed for a reason. Not everything can be up for grabs. Remember, the purpose of changing our minds is to fix more firmly on a truth. I’m not saying that nothing matters, that anything and everything is relative and there is no truth. Rather, I’m saying that arriving at the fullness of truth is the journey of a lifetime. To me, that’s not bad news. That’s wonderful news. Our whole lives, we get to continue learning and maturing. We continue to grow. We don’t have to remain captive to mistakes of the past because we’re embarrassed to admit to them.

The chance to change our mind, at the right time and with the right consideration, is not a problem. It’s an opportunity. I’m not losing anything by it. It’s not embarrassing to admit my outlook needs updating. By changing my mind, I’m actually the big winner because I used to believe a falsehood and now I’m a little bit closer to the truth.

It’s a skill I’ve had to learn (from being proven wrong so frequently), one that involves being willing to examine assumptions, reviewing mistaken information, and taking in new perspectives, but the result, at least as I’ve experienced it, is improved creativity and problem-solving, less pride and stubbornness, flexibility and open-mindedness to what others are saying, and inching ever so slowly towards the truth. And isn’t that our goal, to know the truth? After all, it is the truth that will set us free.