Last year, I joined the board of my HOA (I know, not the best decision 😅), and I’ve been amazed by how often our board’s assumptions about how our community or contractors might respond when it comes to certain decisions and negotiations turn out to be wrong.

We tend to make decisions and communicate with people based on what we assume they will think, care about, or do. We’ll even word communications to get the response we expect or want, often without realizing that our assumptions are shaping how we communicate. We rely on a gut feeling heavily shaped by what we think we know about the person, the context, or even how we would react or what we would care about, without stopping to find out if we’re right.

Not surprisingly, I joined the HOA board because I care about the experience and perception of our building: what it looks like, what it offers, and what those things communicate about the kind of community we are. That was the perspective I brought to decisions and negotiations. Others in my community, however, were more focused on the financial implications or logistical challenges involved. I needed to realize that what mattered to me wasn’t necessarily what mattered to them. We all have different priorities, motivations, communication styles, and ways of approaching decisions. Neither perspective was more or less valid; they were simply different.

And that’s the problem with assumptions: we can start treating what we think we know as fact. 

We need to recognize when we’re making assumptions, question them, and take the time to understand what actually matters to the people involved and why before we make decisions or communicate based on what we think we know.

Assumptions are shortcuts our brains use to fill in missing information, often based on what we’ve learned or experienced previously. They help us make decisions quickly, but they can also cause us to misread situations, misunderstand people, and act on incomplete information.

At Casa Davka, we encounter our clients’ assumptions every day in how they manage and make decisions around clients, staff, projects, new business development, and financial planning. Here are some examples:

• This client won’t ever change.
• This client doesn’t know their budget or have one.
• The client cares most about [price, timeline, quality, etc.].
• The schedule is tight and can’t be changed.
• We’re not generating enough new business because of [our website, brand, social media engagement, etc.].
• We’re definitely going to win this project because of [our existing relationship, our competitors aren’t as strong as us, etc.].
• I know how this [client, staff member, contractor, etc.] will respond.
• My team can’t do that without me.
• We can’t raise our rates because our clients won’t pay more.
• Things will fall apart if I push back on the [client, staff, budget, changes, schedule, etc.].

The real risk isn’t making assumptions; it’s forgetting that they’re assumptions. Once we start treating them as facts, we often make decisions before we’ve gathered enough information. Flawed assumptions can lead to misunderstandings, disappointment, and frustration for you, your clients, and your team. And when they compound or go unchallenged, they can ultimately lead to more serious consequences: misguided decisions, strained relationships, missed opportunities, lost revenue, and stalled growth.

Assumptions are often unavoidable because we rarely have all the information we need, and we’re often hesitant to get it. Sometimes, it’s easier to make an assumption than to ask the question, have the difficult conversation, or seek out the information that might prove us wrong. Our own experiences and beliefs can also reinforce the assumptions we’ve already made.

Every plan you build, every goal you set, and every decision you make is shaped by assumptions.

And while we can’t avoid making assumptions, we can get better at recognizing, questioning, and validating them before we act.

To start challenging our assumptions, we first need to recognize them. Ask yourself:

• What assumptions are we making about our business, our clients, our team, or our work?
• How are these assumptions influencing our decisions, communication, and ways of working?
• How do we know they’re true? What evidence do we actually have, and what might we be missing?
• Are these assumptions helping us or holding us back? Which ones should we challenge or validate?

These questions can help uncover assumptions that might otherwise go unnoticed and reveal how they influence the way you make decisions, interact with others, and run your business. Some assumptions may seem relatively minor, but when they go unchallenged, they can have significant consequences for your business.

Because assumptions can become deeply embedded in how we think and work, challenging them can feel uncomfortable or even overwhelming.

The more we question the assumptions shaping our decisions, behaviors, and relationships, the better we become at recognizing when they’re outdated, limiting, or simply untrue. But recognizing our assumptions is only the first step. We also need to be willing to test them, and that starts with communication.

To challenge our assumptions and get the information we should:

1. Ask the right questions. Thoughtful, relevant questions help you understand how the people you’re communicating with think, what they care about, what motivates them, what they can and can’t control, and even what they may know but aren’t sharing. The goal isn’t simply to gather more information; it’s to test what you think you know against what is actually true. We often assume people will be annoyed by too many questions or judge us for asking what we think is a dumb question. Usually, that’s not the case. And if someone does get annoyed? So what? The cost of asking a few extra questions is usually far lower than the cost of making decisions based on assumptions.
2. Communicate rather than assume. We have a tendency—because many creatives are people pleasers or simply too busy—to avoid “hot topics” or difficult conversations, assuming they’ll be easier to deal with later, will simply blow over, or will work themselves out. We tell ourselves it’s less risky to keep moving than to stall. Or we assume someone will react badly, so we decide it’s easier not to bring something up at all. Important issues rarely get better through avoidance. In our experience, most creative businesses suffer from under-communication, not over-communication.
3. Embrace productive conflict. We often assume that talking about a difficult issue will inevitably lead to an argument or make someone unhappy. That’s often not true. Even people-pleasers can get comfortable with difficult conversations when they approach them with honesty, thoughtfulness, empathy, and timeliness. Don’t wait to deal with challenges. Address them head-on and graciously. Doing so can replace assumptions with understanding, surface issues before they grow, and make it easier to move forward.
4. Get comfortable with uncertainty. Challenging your assumptions doesn’t mean you’ll always have a clear answer or make the perfect decision. Sometimes, you’ll ask the questions, gather the information, and still have to make a judgment call. The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty; it’s to make the best decision you can with the information you have, and be willing to adjust when you learn something new. You may get it wrong, make a misstep, or encounter resistance along the way. But avoiding those risks altogether can leave you frustrated, burned out, and stuck, and ultimately keep your business from evolving.

If you’re afraid to confront an assumption, ask yourself: What’s the impact if I’m wrong? Is the risk minor or significant? What makes this difficult? What am I trying to avoid? What am I most afraid of? And where might those fears be coming from?

Then, pick your battles. Start with an assumption that feels relatively low-risk to challenge, or one you feel most comfortable testing. It can also help to share your assumptions with others. They may offer perspectives you haven’t considered, help you determine whether an assumption is valid, or challenge you to think differently.

Over time, the goal isn’t to make fewer assumptions. It’s to become better at recognizing them, questioning them, and knowing when not to let them make the decision for you.

Emily Cohen is the founder of Casa Davka, where she works with her partner Hunter Vargas to help creative firms rethink everything from positioning and business development to organizational structure, pricing, and client relationships.

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