So, I guess this is my introductory post to prove I'm human, not a spam bot.

I'm 31yr living with my partner who's 46. We've been together since 2014 and have known each other since 2013. We actually met on a YouTube comment section, if you can imagine that. A Grand Theft Auto V let's play on a guy's channel, a special Russian boi, who was once a part of the Creature Hub, back in the day when the internet still felt like it had a bright future.

But we have had experience in polyamory. My partner, Angel, is very Avoidant, and doesn't seek out social connections much. I want her to at least have one other friend, but she and I have a very close relationship. She is my forever partner. She's usually friends with my friends, which are never too many more than a few people, and she has great relationships with people I hang out with. We once lived with a second partner in a triad for a few months, until it became obvious that there were some differences that became deal breakers. She was struggling a lot and we helped her get her own apartment where we moved some of her stuff. I met her in DBT (already an iffy idea, there's a reason they recommend patients not dating, but we're humans who need connection), some trauma bonding, and physical attraction we both had drove us together for a while. I don't want kids, and she was considering it. I'm sure you can figure out how that went. She wasn't the greatest communicator, and I'm not saying everything was "on her", not a bit. I'm just not a mind reader, and I expect a little bit of grace, even if it's not as much as I extend to others I grow feelings for. We helped her move out when she felt the need to leave. There's no bad blood, I moved on, it was somewhat hurtful how communication was cut by her with us, and both of us felt a loss of someone who we loved, loved us, and otherwise made us feel very special. That was early 2020.

My partner felt afraid of losing someone like that again so she hasn't sought out any other relationships. I am the main "connector". I still seek out relationships but I look for quality. I am not against lust, I think hyper-sexual dynamics can be very exciting, but I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't meet me where I am, and vice versa. I attempted a relationship as recently as late 2024 with a person who I see somewhat regularly, at a plasma center. Once I realized she was down with some protests, I was part of I started messaging her, and she wasn't against it. She struggles with BPD and while I was okay with things being platonic, I think she eventually started having attachment issues and when she asked me to leave her alone, I respected her boundaries. I myself have struggled with some Reactive Attachment myself and I wanted to avoid contributing to an awkward environment at her place of work. We hung out because I wanted top bring her some homemade, because they helped me with depression and I hoped to help her as well. I did, and yes, I went to great lengths to ensure that she would be safe, use them responsibly, and I gave her everything she needed to understand the experience. We are cordial and do not communicate outside of her place of work, I'm, fine with that.

The main reason I made an account here is because I by happenstance found an old thread from back in 2015, where a debate on this site took place about Empathy in Polyamory. I am an Empath. I found someone trying to language police about the conversation revolving it, it rubbed me the wrong way. I consider myself intelligent, I'm self-educated, I have life experience, perspective on trauma, I have 5 Therapists (yes, I do), I read books and I alter my consciousness every so often, and I am pretentions about it. I know I am argumentative and opinionated. I do have strong values and I will defend them, and I am very comfortable in my judgement towards others and related ideologies that cause harm or are archaic and in need of change. I am a writer, so, when I get into a back and forth with someone, I'm annoying because I'm relentless and I will take enjoyment out of situations where a troll or bully is trying to toy with me and others. I hate bullies, but misguided people who harbor ill-informed, rhetoric born of ignorance or indoctrination, I will attempt to correct. I am capable of being respectful, but I won't be afraid to bite back at someone who thinks their crap don't stink, and everyone else is the problem.

You can learn more about me in my

section on my profile.
If you have questions, message me.
And I think this is long enough to prove that my account isn't spam.
At least, I hope so.