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Sex education taught me what an erection was, but smut taught me about desire. Most of us got the mechanics, the risks and a condom on a banana. What we didn’t get was anything about wanting, so many of us went looking for that in books and fanfics. Smut is fiction where sex is part of the story, but I think it can do something more interesting than simply give you something sexy to read. It can give you somewhere to figure yourself out.
You don’t need me to tell you smut is having a moment. In the US, print romance sales jumped 24% in a year, with 51 million books sold in a year. Romantasy (romance plus fantasy, usually plus dragons or fae) was the fastest-growing category in the whole print market in 2024. To me, those numbers mean millions of people choosing to spend time in stories about wanting, being wanted, and exploring something new. And that makes my sexologist heart sing.
Fantasy and desire matter
A lot of the pleasure in a smutty book comes from making you wait, in the build-up between the two main characters, the almost-touch, knowing what’s coming and having to wait for it; a good smutty book can spend 300 pages there. And if you’ve ever wondered why one scene works for you while another leaves you completely cold, that’s part of the answer: arousal has a context. It might be the way someone looks at you, a particular voice, the tension of a power dynamic, or the feeling of being wanted. Smut gives you a safer space to notice that, to play with that feeling of, oh… that’s doing something to me.
That’s one reason reading is a much lower-stakes place than real life to explore desire. Nobody’s watching, you don’t have to do anything for anybody else, you don’t have to explain yourself, and you can close the book whenever you like. That’s important because it’s a place to learn that fantasies aren’t contractual — you can be turned on by the idea of something without wanting it in real life. Researcher Justin Lehmiller surveyed more than 4,000 people about their fantasies and found that nearly everyone has them (97%), and found an enormous range in what people imagined wanting. This research is a useful reminder that fantasies play a different role for all of us. It might be a new idea, something to try, or it might be something that plays out beautifully in your head but something you’d never want to do in person. And that’s totally fine.
Don’t skip fanfic
Fanfiction often gets left out of these conversations, and it shouldn’t. So many of us who love smut grew up in the Tumblr era of fanfiction (cough, One Direction fanfic, cough). Fanfic has always been particularly good at letting people take characters they already care about and put them into the stories they wanted to see. Archive of Our Own (AO3) hosts more than 18 million works; it’s run by volunteers, and it’s free.
It also does something the rest of erotic media could learn from. Every story is tagged — who’s in it, what happens, how explicit it gets, what you might want a warning for. You know what you’re opting into before you read a word, and you can filter out anything you never want to see (consent icons). I think it’s one of the best informed-choice systems going.
Fanfic also gives people a place to read desire that looks like theirs. Queer, disabled, and neurodivergent readers have been writing themselves into these kinds of stories on there for years, because mainstream romance and erotic media didn’t give them enough places to see themselves in this context.
If you’ve never read smut before, here are five tips to get started
Start with a trope: enemies to lovers, only one bed, fake dating — if a set-up already does something for you, follow it.
Go short: A novella or a 5,000-word fic is a much smaller ask than a 600-page romantasy.
Listen instead: Audiobooks and audio erotica count, and they’re a good option if reading doesn’t work for you.
Pick your own spice level: Reviews and tags will usually tell you how explicit something gets before you start.
Stop if it’s not working: you don’t owe a book a finish (not a bad rule for sex either).
Start with these smutty books and fanfics
Fourth Wing and Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros.
I am a lover of the Empyrean series. Dragons, a war college, and Shadow Daddy, I won’t be expanding further.
The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
Loved this one. Fake dating in a science lab, and it started life as fanfic, which tells you where a lot of the good stuff comes from.
A Game of Hearts and Heists by Ruby Roe
A Sapphic fantasy with a disgraced assassin, her rival poisoner, a heist and only one bed.
if i bleed you’ll be the last to know by spaceprincessem (AO3)
For the teenwolf fans, Derek & Stiles.
if i don’t make it back from where i’ve gone, just know i loved you all along by whiry (AO3)
For The Witcher fans, Jaskier & Geralt.
Leather & Lace on Dipsea.
For when you’d rather listen — “Sebastian & Benj give Jackie exactly what she wants, and then some…” need I say more?
Sometimes the thing you learn from smut is that you really, really like a particular fictional man being told what to do. Sometimes you learn something a little more personal: what makes you curious, what makes you want to keep reading, and what you’d happily leave on the page. Either way, I think that’s a pretty good reason to keep a little smut on your bookshelf.
DashDividers_1_500x100
This article was originally published on Refinery29 Australia.
Niamh (she/her) is the sexologist behind @myfriendinsexed, based in Tarntanya (Adelaide). With a Bachelor of Disability and Developmental Education and a Masters of Sexology, Niamh makes disability and neurodivergent affirming intimacy education for underserved communities. Niamh is represented by Studio Veronique.
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Credit: Eylul Aslan
Sex education taught me what an erection was, but smut taught me about desire. Most of us got the mechanics, the risks and a condom on a banana. What we didn't get was anything about wanting, so many of us went looking for that in books and fanfics. Smut is fiction where sex is part of the story, but I think it can do something more interesting than simply give you something sexy to read. It can give you somewhere to figure yourself out.
You don't need me to tell you smut is having a moment. In the US, print romance sales jumped 24% in a year, with 51 million books sold in a year. Romantasy (romance plus fantasy, usually plus dragons or fae) was the fastest-growing category in the whole print market in 2024. To me, those numbers mean millions of people choosing to spend time in stories about wanting, being wanted, and exploring something new. And that makes my sexologist heart sing.
A lot of the pleasure in a smutty book comes from making you wait, in the build-up between the two main characters, the almost-touch, knowing what's coming and having to wait for it; a good smutty book can spend 300 pages there. And if you've ever wondered why one scene works for you while another leaves you completely cold, that's part of the answer: arousal has a context. It might be the way someone looks at you, a particular voice, the tension of a power dynamic, or the feeling of being wanted. Smut gives you a safer space to notice that, to play with that feeling of, oh… that’s doing something to me.
That’s one reason reading is a much lower-stakes place than real life to explore desire. Nobody's watching, you don't have to do anything for anybody else, you don’t have to explain yourself, and you can close the book whenever you like. That’s important because it’s a place to learn that fantasies aren't contractual — you can be turned on by the idea of something without wanting it in real life. Researcher Justin Lehmiller surveyed more than 4,000 people about their fantasies and found that nearly everyone has them (97%), and found an enormous range in what people imagined wanting. This research is a useful reminder that fantasies play a different role for all of us. It might be a new idea, something to try, or it might be something that plays out beautifully in your head but something you’d never want to do in person. And that’s totally fine.
Fanfiction often gets left out of these conversations, and it shouldn't. So many of us who love smut grew up in the Tumblr era of fanfiction (cough, One Direction fanfic, cough). Fanfic has always been particularly good at letting people take characters they already care about and put them into the stories they wanted to see. Archive of Our Own (AO3) hosts more than 18 million works; it's run by volunteers, and it's free.
It also does something the rest of erotic media could learn from. Every story is tagged — who's in it, what happens, how explicit it gets, what you might want a warning for. You know what you're opting into before you read a word, and you can filter out anything you never want to see (consent icons). I think it's one of the best informed-choice systems going.
Fanfic also gives people a place to read desire that looks like theirs. Queer, disabled, and neurodivergent readers have been writing themselves into these kinds of stories on there for years, because mainstream romance and erotic media didn’t give them enough places to see themselves in this context.
Start with a trope: enemies to lovers, only one bed, fake dating — if a set-up already does something for you, follow it.
Go short: A novella or a 5,000-word fic is a much smaller ask than a 600-page romantasy.
Listen instead: Audiobooks and audio erotica count, and they're a good option if reading doesn’t work for you.
Pick your own spice level: Reviews and tags will usually tell you how explicit something gets before you start.
Stop if it's not working: you don't owe a book a finish (not a bad rule for sex either).
Fourth Wing and Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros.
I am a lover of the Empyrean series. Dragons, a war college, and Shadow Daddy, I won’t be expanding further.
The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
Loved this one. Fake dating in a science lab, and it started life as fanfic, which tells you where a lot of the good stuff comes from.
if i bleed you'll be the last to know by spaceprincessem (AO3)
For the teenwolf fans, Derek & Stiles.
if i don't make it back from where i've gone, just know i loved you all along by whiry (AO3)
For The Witcher fans, Jaskier & Geralt.
Leather & Lace on Dipsea.
For when you'd rather listen — “Sebastian & Benj give Jackie exactly what she wants, and then some…” need I say more?
Sometimes the thing you learn from smut is that you really, really like a particular fictional man being told what to do. Sometimes you learn something a little more personal: what makes you curious, what makes you want to keep reading, and what you'd happily leave on the page. Either way, I think that's a pretty good reason to keep a little smut on your bookshelf.
DashDividers_1_500x100
This article was originally published on Refinery29 Australia.
Niamh (she/her) is the sexologist behind @myfriendinsexed, based in Tarntanya (Adelaide). With a Bachelor of Disability and Developmental Education and a Masters of Sexology, Niamh makes disability and neurodivergent affirming intimacy education for underserved communities. Niamh is represented by Studio Veronique.
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