Enzo Maresca, Frank Lampard and Erling Haaland have all broken their Man City silences, while Anthony Gordon has enraged Newcastle.

Manchester City continue to trigger just the strangest thoughts and feelings.

Commit to the bit
Enzo Maresca’s first Manchester City press conference since The Thing was always going to be both a huge story and an absolute non-story: it is remarkably newsworthy by its very nature but at no point was he going to say anything particularly newsworthy.

He can’t. Not really. And even if he wanted to, none of it pertains to him. The period of Manchester City cheating came before his association with them. Managers being the front-facing, official spokesperson of clubs, held to account for and questioned over decisions made not by them but by owners and executives, has always felt pointless and daft in moments such as these. This is especially egregious.

But even with the flattest of bats deployed by the manager, his predictable words can still be twisted in any way the media sees fit.

Which leads us to the MailOnline‘s website-topping take:

‘LIVE Enzo Maresca refuses to fully commit to staying at Man City if they are relegated – LIVE: Manager insists titles are NOT tainted as calls grow for ‘relentless’ punishing’

And it’s LIVE. Here is Maresca at his full-commitment-refusing best, when asked whether he would stay in the event Manchester City are demoted:

“I won the Championship with Leicester, so in case ‘League One’, we are going to see. But again, we are thinking about something that we don’t know.”

That last line is obviously the most important – no-one has a sodding clue what’s going to happen so what’s the point in anyone issuing empty messages about the future now? – but because Maresca didn’t stupidly outright say “I will unequivocally remain Manchester City manager if and when they are sent to the core of the actual Earth/the North West Counties Football League,” he suddenly ‘refuses to fully commit’ to the club.

Maresca didn’t ‘fully commit’ to anything because doing so would have made him look absolutely ridiculous.

Dunn, Dunn, Dunn
This feels like especially wishful thinking from Liverpool fan Andy Dunn in the Daily Mirror:

‘The bottom line is that Manchester City’s footballers have nothing left to play for this season. If the club is not given a sanction that guarantees relegation, it will be a seismic shock.

‘You have to feel sorry for the five teams City have beaten in the Premier League this season. An element of professional pride might kick in at Anfield but motivation will be close to zero.’

Mediawatch does not disagree with the sentiment that the result on Sunday could and probably should be rendered entirely meaningless by whatever sanction is eventually passed down to Manchester City in three millennia’s time.

But the idea that their players ‘have nothing left to play for’ and ‘motivation will be close to zero’ against Liverpool, at Anfield, for a global hatewatch in which pretty much everyone not associated with City hopes they are humiliated, is frankly nonsense.

Not one part of anything said by a Manchester City employee since the guilty verdict suggests only ‘an element of professional pride might kick in’ when they return with a trip to one of their biggest rivals.

Silence is golden
But Mediawatch is relieved to report that we have finally heard the thoughts of one of the key individuals involved in the Manchester City scandal, as reported by The Sun website:

‘Frank Lampard breaks silence on Man City trophy fears after guilty verdict as he insists ‘titles should be in your head’

Until someone compels Scott Sinclair to break rank, this will have to do.

My name is Erl
Lampard was not the only City silence-breaker this week; Erling Haaland has spoken out. And The Sun are quick off the mark:

‘ERLING HAALAND has urged his Manchester City team-mates to “stick together” amid the club’s bombshell guilty verdicts.’

It was more of a ‘bombshell’ than an 84-year-old man acknowledging his own mortality, granted.

‘Haaland has not played for City since the club were found guilty of all charges related to serious breaches of the Prem’s financial rules over a nine-season period.’

While technically true, it probably should be pointed out that precisely no-one has played for City since then. It’s not like Haaland specifically has been on strike.

Bruyne teaser
And the bad Manchester City news just keeps coming, courtesy of the Daily Mirror website:

‘Man City legend Kevin De Bruyne ‘upset’ by Etihad decision on homecoming’

When the ‘Etihad decision’ in question was taken by Antonio Conte for Napoli over a year ago, it is worth wondering just how far and ridiculously headline writers are going to contort themselves in the perennial Manchester City pile-on.

Ant, man
Everything is coming up Gordon right now, so to speak. Anthony Gordon, that is. Going well for him, isn’t it? Doing alright. It’s looking good. His feet are soaked but his cuffs are bone dry.

Anyway, that could all be about to change, because he ‘has risked riling his former Newcastle team-mates’ and ‘may have landed himself in hot water’ with those still at St James’ Park.

Sake, Anthony. What have you gone and bloody said now, you big scamp?

“I’ve made many runs throughout my career that no one saw, but now I have Pedri, who sees absolutely everything.

“Adapting has been relatively easy because at Newcastle we already played a similar style – pressing hard and attacking with the team pushed high up the pitch.

“With the ball as well, now I play surrounded by some of the best footballers in the world.”

In summary, Barcelona’s players are better than Newcastle’s, and Pedri is especially really good. It’s a dagger to the heart of Joelinton, who must have thought the 7-2 thrashing at the Nou Camp in March was pure luck.

He’s a star, man
‘Everton star learns fate after admitting 61 breaches of FA betting rules’ – Daily Mirror website.

Martin Sherif, of zero Everton appearances.